Facebook Status - Ed Hoskin is depressed watching desperate middle-aged people

Last night was one of those parties (on the Palm in Dubai), where... I'm not actually there. Oh, I'm there physically, and even unfortunately mentally to some extent, but sorta spiritually?... no.

I'm (a childish) 36, and the average age of the partygoer last night must've been around 48. This presents a nasty crevasse in terms of age. Add to that; half of them were single, 90% of them were much richer than us and you have a horribly sad recipe that is bound to end, for me, in a depressing observation of the consequences of perhaps too much money..

To see 50-somethings, dancing to Bob Sinclair with 'sexy' gyratory 'moves' comin' at ya is a sight that no-one who's happily partnered-up or at least under 40 should see. Couple that with the dress-sense of the 'Dad' - aaarrrgggh. It's like some twisted, perverted, sick trick that one of my friends has played on me. Seriously - there was a guy there (probably a millionaire) dancing like David Brent, overweight, bright red Christmas jumper (in fact, he probably DID get it for Chrimbo!) - not to say my 'moves' are anything to write home about, but his were incredibly spasticated, with much a-grabbing of his muffin-top crotchal area... nice.

Problem with these kind of evening soirees is that it's a 40/50-something pick-up joint, so no-one wants to talk about anything with sincerity or about anything more that small talk. Well, if you're content in your love-life and not looking for either a) a rotund rich man who can help you out for the next 40 years, or b) a now-skinny, but eventually rotund lady with over-exposed legs who's happy to touch your ticket, the whole thing is a saddening bore... now i see why a dinner party with 4 couples one's own age is pretty damn good.

There was a lot of: fake tan, high heel, luscious food, guys dressed in work gear (what the f*ck else do they know, they don't DO anything else!), leg on show, fake enjoyment (you are 50, you're a skinny women, you have no kids, no husband, rich shallow friends, no future.... you are a failure), 'sexy' moves, honkeys over 35 dancing (should be illegal), old-skool dancing (and i mean old-skool as in 1950s, not 1983)

Great food, free booze, good(ish) music (great DJ and host i must point out), superb location + hollow guests = (for me) mental vacancy...

The murtabel was bloody good mind you!

Softly softly in Dubaiiiitt!

Well, the time had to come to try out the softball here in Dubai after passing so many wonderful summers in London playing mixed (co-ed) softball. Meteors 3 had been great to me, and it was a painful separation in a season where we finally managed to get promoted after falling down the year before (or possibly the one before that!). I won't not never forget the way we got that last out that got us promoted - scrappy but great throw from The Haymaker came into to myself at home, and a desperate tag took us to the virtual podium.. what a great feeling.

Well - that was Londres, and 'co-ed' softball is very different to man-softball, so it was with a tiny bit of trepidation that i turned up to the floodlit diamonds (count 2) just off Sheikh Zayed Road (junction 20). Many other English guys turned up (albeit with very little softball knowledge), and many Canadians. I got stuck straight in, and had a good bunch of big hits (with a lovely $500 bat). I also managed to squeeze my way onto the mound to do some pitching, and try and impress - der boy done good.
The Diamond was immaculate - the grass is like a cricket infield - and the cage and surrounding all in great condition. Of course the weather's always good, so this looks like a good thing to do in Dubes. Plus i quickly got to know a couple of Vancouverians, who seem cool, so the softball future looks rosy. The only drawback really is that it's not mixed, which is part of the attraction of the s-ball.

Ah yes, another drawback is that the possibility of organising a tournament between my beloved Meteors and a local bunch of teams seems unlikely.. sniff :'-(

The big plus though regarding the location of the pitch is that directly behind the hot dog stand, that also sells cheap beer, is the highlight of this area.... a brothel. Yep - a real brothel, where you shall find the best local Emirati prozzies. Nothing wrong with that of course, just don't get caught drinking a beer on the beach... ooh no!

Let's see how this season goes!